True Life...

I've lacked inspiration to blog.  And, I love to blog.  When I feel less than inspired, I need to figure out why.  I realized, more than ever, that I love to write.  I like to write to share thoughts and insights.  Even though it continually scares me to put my thoughts on paper, in fear of being judged and criticized, I'm getting over it.

I'd like to share some insights, as learned from my relationship.  Living in a car or in the basement of your parent's house is difficult.  This fact of life has made learning to communicate each other's language that much more  imperative in order to stay together.  Pride on both our parts may have had a little to do with the times we broke up in Washington, California, Texas and Florida.  Ultimately, the need to be right doesn't fix anything.  All it does is keep the letting go of whatever it is you're fighting about that much more in focus.  Being right is a matter of opinion, anyway.   I'm competitive as they come, but I've realized someone's feelings aren't something to be right about.  Even though I'm a prideful Seattle Seahawks fan - ranked 1st  and Percy Harvin as a wide receiver --what, what --competition is a detriment to relationships.

Lastly, I'll share my current plan to make money.  My first plan several months ago had me contacting Scion about financing my trip. Which I didn't do, and then Scion came out with a marketing plan that financed four kids to take Scion's cars around the country.  Shit.  Here's my latest plan worth millions. Chris and I met for the first time in September, outside a gas station in New Hampshire.  Not having even talked to him yet, the first thing he asked me to was play catch with his PooF football.  Since our first catch, we play catch in every state we travel through.   Poof, similar to Nerf, wear out every couple months.  I was thinking.  What if I email PooF, tell them about our falling in love over catch, solving fights by playing catch and so forth then we become their new advertisement? We get free footballs and gas money to drive the van to play catch in Europe, Asia, New Zeleand, Australia, and Iceland.  Boo-yah!   Dreams....don't you love 'em?

We're headed towards Colorado, Utah, Nevada soon but not until I sell my car for gas money and a new audio system in the van.  Over and out from the parent's basement.

                                                                        

Stopping to Smell the Roses...

Travel tips for maximum adventure in life

1) Plan as little as possible- this will allow for flexibility, spontaneity, and creativity in moment to moment decisions.  Planning makes a choice in this moment for a future moment, and the future is not here yet, which seems kinda crazy when you think of it that way, doesn't it?
2) Bring necessity items-this is in line with living a simple life.  The more things you have that you don't need the more mental/emotional/psychological clutter one keeps.  It's commendable to give your excess stuff to someone who will actually use it.  The truth is things get in the way.  The next time you want to buy something you don't need ask "do I need this to live?" and your answer will most likely to be no, to which you can start to train yourself to find happiness from with"in" yourself and with"out" stuff.
3) Get off the highway- back roads, dirt roads, and no roads force you to slow down and look out the window.  Looking out the window with only the goal of "seeing" and "observing" encourages mindfulness.  This helps decrease stress and anxiety.  So, do it more!
4) Go under the speed limit- by slowing down in life you decrease accidents, careless mistakes, and missed opportunities.  Even though everyone around you is going faster, honking at you, and flipping you the bird, smile because you have something figured out that they don't.  Life will unfold no matter what pace you go, and according to my favorite quote by Walter Hagen, "don't hurry, don't worry, you're only here for a short visit and be sure to smell the roses."
5) Don't take vacations- a vacation implies a trip of recreation separate from the life you currently live.  Don't vacate your life for a quick glimpse at a more relaxed, enjoyable lifestyle outside of your everyday existence.  Set up your life as close to a vacation, adventure, journey as possible to program yourself that life is meant to be enjoyed always, not only a week a year.

Happy St. Patricks Day everyone!  


   

Is This The End?...

A life long dream came true this morning for Miles as we watched a rocket launch nearby the Kennedy Space Center.  Shorty after this historic event, Miles said jokingly, "everything here on out is going to be insignificant, I just witnessed a rocket for chrissake".  You know something, he's right. Although the successes and the dreams accomplished continue to pile up on this road trip, so too does the disappointment of not knowing what to do, after doing the undoable.

In Key West, the insecurities of my dwindling savings and how I am going to make money came crashing down on me.  With only North Carolina to see to finish the continental 48 states, I realized my road tripping adventure is coming to a close.  The life I have become accustomed to living, with spontaneous left or right decisions, u-turns, parking lot living is on its final leg.  My favorite question of "where are you today?" has become an all too familiar one that I enjoy filling family and friends in on.  Currently in a parking lot in Hilton Head, South Carolina, for your information.  But in all honesty, the sadness of letting go of the most meaningful existence I can imagine, made the past few weeks miserable at times.  

There are those who would give anything to live someone else's life, to trade places so that they can feel what it's like to live the "good life".  But at the end of the day, I have come to understand they struggle just as you do.  They fear, they agonize, cry, and fall down only to get back up again.  

In Virginia I talked to Rome, the new lead singer of the popular band Sublime.  At the time I was pretty awe struck to be conversing with someone who had everything, in my mind; money, a popular band, traveling the country, and fame. But as we continued to talk and he was curious about me traveling around the country, living out of my car, with no plan, he said "I wish I had your life."  This person I watched sing in front of thousands of fans an hour earlier, was now telling me he was jealous of me? 

I've realized true success comes from living out your dream.  And the dream is your life as it is.  It might not be something you're very proud or are embarrassed of but that doesn't matter. Ask yourself how can I love, forgive, relax, and enjoy what's right in front of me a little more.  Then, you'll be one step closer to your dream.    

  

In Myself I Trust

Being in a relationship and staying who you are isn't an easy task, believe me I know.  Not only in romantic relationships is it difficult, but interacting with people, period.  The more emotionally attached, the more we are affected.  A common pitfall we find ourselves in is allowing another person's truth or view of reality to overshadow our own.  In these cases we become powerless to the other person and start to only see their way.  This is more than apparent in emotionally or physically abusive relationships where one person, through power and control, preys on someone with a weak sense of self.

If you find yourself or hear someone saying "I don't even know who I am anymore," I lose myself in relationships," or "where do I begin and you end?" you know it is indicating a loss of self and an over-identification of another's beliefs.  More often than not it is a parent-child relationship, or romantic partnership relationship where there is a need to be loved.  Be aware of the emotion "resentment", as it also indicates this type of relationship is present.  Resentment comes when too much power is given to the other person and we don't listen to ourselves.
Here are some important things to remember.  No matter what you are still you despite the kind of relationship you are in.  You are of equal importance to ANYONE standing in front of you.  You bring your unique perspective, experiences, and passions that offer a different way of seeing the world and that is everything.  There are people who only think from their perspective and are incapable of really hearing and seeing you, which is frustrating, but at the same time knowing this can help you to let go of the need for their approval or understanding.  Own who you are, your weaknesses, your strengths, and never give up.  

 

Undressing New Orleans...

Cemetery at night in downtown New Orleans

The "Voodoo Queen", Marie Laveau's grave, where people leave trinkets and mark  x's to pay homage.

Trinkets left at Marie Laveau's grave

Pink ladies showing their stuff

Photograph of the photographer

Pounding fists while celebrating Mardi Gras

Free beer and music at New Orleans brewery

Local Mardi Gras party

The devastating effects of hurricanes is apparent throughout New Orleans

The method used during Katrina to indicate the need of  the inhabitants 

One Girl and One Boy...

I learned a lot this evening, mostly about acceptance with who I am. We all want to do it better. We all want to change the past. We all want to right a wrong and take back something we wished we hadn't done. Yet the underlying truth we must face is, we can't.  However, if love and truth lead the way we will forever be on the right path.

My lessons tonight come from my boyfriend's parents, Norma and Steve. They have been married 46 years, hoping to get to 50, despite Norma's debilitating multiple sclerosis that has been looming over her head since she was diagnosed over 30 years ago. Here they sit on their couch in Indiana, holding hands in front of me, and smiling at each other as if they had just met yesterday. You bet I had something to learn, not only learn but experience firsthand the kind of love that, according to Steve, allowed Norma to be who she is. Her childhood is one that should never be experienced by anyone, yet in finding her way out she found her power by correcting injustices in the world around her .  In Steve's eyes, the man who has loved her dearly throughout their lives together sees “only her heart."  "Even when she's critical or hard on herself, I just love her so.” 

I thought about the women who I respect, the women I admire above all others, and I realized they were women who stood up for what was just.  These were women who acted with honesty and integrity and asked for forgiveness later.  One of my favorite quotes from Laurel Thatcher Ulrich reads, "Well-behaved women seldom make history."  Although Norma may not make the history books, her presence in my memory is one that will forever bring admiration.

One awesome Norma story takes place in 2004 at a KKK rally outside the courthouse in downtown Elkhart, Indiana.  She forced Steve to take her and her homemade sign which read, "KKK- Straight From The Bowels Of Hell", to the event in order to protest.  Keep in mind the MS had left her unable to walk without using a walker, yet the police thinking the walker could be used as a weapon, made Norma leave it behind.  With her sign in hand, holding onto fencing to pull her way to the heart of the crowd, she found her place to stand up and allow her voice to be heard.

Sometimes I get mouthy. Other times I get opinionated, stubbornly so. And yet even other times I overstep my boundaries, tell someone off and question whether I should just sit down, shut up, and "act like a lady". But, just as Steve learned about Norma, I so pass on to you...don't worry about how you say it, or even about overreacting in the moment.  Be strong, hold to your virtues, and if your heart is in the right place, if you lead with love and honesty, you will shine through.