Monday, August 19, 2013

You know what...

I've been plagued with feelings of fear and losing myself in love, only for it to end in tragedy.  The story replays again and again and at the end leaves me lost and alone.  Writing during these times helps alleviate my mind from the emotional dead ends and rabbit holes it creates.  These mazes, created from the endless bits of information taken from the world around me, is my mind trying to work out problems .  As is the case when I solve mazes, I so too utilize the same skill here.  To begin to solve this puzzle called life, I start from the end and work to the beginning.  Envisioning the end result and working backwards, helps break issues into manageable steps.  As is with this scenario-the maze-asking the right question is far more important than the right answer.

 How do I know whose opinion to listen to?  Is any one person's opinion more valid/correct than another person's?  How much of the news, my family's beliefs, my religious upbringing and schooling play into how I see the world?  I find it is easy to slip and get lost in life because there are no one size fits all answers.  Even though uncertainty exists around every corner, that does not mean feeling scared or anxious or getting on prescription medications is the answer.  Mistakes serve as lessons and lessons are the building blocks of life.  Yet it has become all too common for us turn on ourselves or blame each other when a mistake is made.  We are taught to be separate, to compete and compare ourselves with each other.  This separateness leads to loneliness and feeling misunderstood.  Questioning why we think the way we do is the first step in undoing the past's painful scars.
What if most of what we were taught was due to that person's past pain and their only awareness was trying to keep you from feeling the same pain