Walking Chris's dog Jasper while temporarily stopped in the city Santa Barbara,
I made conversation with a gentleman walking the same breed of dog. I shared a few experiences in my camper van, and he recalled memories
with his ex-wife and daughter, along the California coast in his van.
His happy memories soon turned to bitterness regarding how their
relationship ended. I found it interesting that despite the
beautiful weather, landscape, and company, internally he was a
cluster of resentment and confusion.I asked him, “If you were happy and free of this relationship, what would you have to do to let go?” Quite quickly he responded, “Forgive myself.”
Forgiveness, not of his ex, but of himself. He explained his ex's cheating and led it to his cheating. It had been years since it had taken place but he still wore it around like a dog's collar.
Forgiveness of the self is the only way to internal peace. A common question I've heard is, how can you forgive yourself if you don't even like yourself? Start by liking yourself again. Do something special for yourself and say “(Insert your name here). I'm doing this for you because I'm learning to like you.” That's step one. It is the first step to letting go, healing, and transformation.
And one last thing before I go, what If the world ends tomorrow? What is one
thing you can forgive yourself for/ What is one thing you can forgive someone else for?